Students across QUT have today come to the shocking realisation that their degree is nothing like the hit TV show, Suits. Rather than sitting at the top of a New York skyline, a portion of the students have been left nervous of not even receiving a job.
A recent study found that high paying law jobs are hereditary in about 75% cases, while the other 25% percent come from “my dad’s lawyer friend”. In small cases, students with a GPA of 7 are able to get a job but have been advised to get a Starbucks loyalty card, as well as the number to every local dry cleaner in preparation.
Bill, 21, noted that Harvey Spectre was his ideal dream lawyer.
“The guy just oozed class. He was smart, funny and got all the ladies. Plus, he got invited to Prince Harry’s wedding.” Professor Tim Ort was flabbergasted by the delusions of students.
“He’s a fucking TV character. You really think this show would be interesting if it was just them settling out of court while contacting judges to set court dates?No!”
When 100 students were asked what exactly Harvey Spectre did, 35 said “a lawyer”, 25 noted “I don’t know” and the remaining 40 admitted they were just waiting for a Meghan Markle sex scene.
For many students, this is an even greater setback after many realized that high school Legal Studies and that one mooting competition they did weren’t enough to get them ready. Rather, their reliance on coffee and investigation of what needs to be done to drop to Justice has occupied most of their time.
Across campus, business students are yet to realise there is nothing in Wolf of Wall Street that will help them to become better accountants.