Student Driving to Uni for the First Time Is Way Too Optimistic About Parking

It has been a big week for Shawn (18). He was able to download the new Fortnite, ask out his crush, and most importantly, passed his driving test. The latter being despite the fact he has been eligible to get his P’s for over a year.

Those close to Shawn say that they are happy that he can finally drive instead of being a, quote, “car riding, never pays for petrol, loud, bludging son of a bitch”. Though, a concern has arisen from his friends.

Reportedly, Shawn has been claiming that “it will be so much cheaper to drive to uni than catch public transport”. However, as is common knowledge, if you are going to park at QUT, you might as well take on an additional 3 years of university and earn more HECS, as they basically balance out to be the same price. Many students have tried and failed to justify parking, even claiming “I’ll just be in for an hour” despite them then continuing to push it back an hour because the guys wanna hang out.

More than just the price, Shawn is said to be overly optimistic about actually finding a park. For him, his detailed plan to “arrive 10 minuted before the lecture” immediately met with harsh criticism.

“10 minutes isn’t enough. It just isn’t” claimed one friend. Many have stated that in order to get a park, they’ve had to pay high prices. Stephanie, a third-year student, has already given up over $200,000 in bribes, favours and even has offered up the soul of her firstborn child. Stephanie has since been unable to leave, with fear of what more she will be forced to give up if she were ever to re-enter the parking bay.

If you are looking to help Shawn, he will be driving in the 2013 BMW that his mum got him after his parent’s divorce, as well as talking obnoxiously loud in lectures.

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