Student Trodden Over as He Picks the Wrong Line Up Gardens Point Library Steps

During the mid-semester break, Tristan (19) took a few of his mates up Queensland for a bit of 4×4 action. He was able to steal his Dad’s Prado for a weekend of booze, beans and bravado.  It was good for Tristan to escape the stress of the city for a while.

Tristan had been dying to hit the dirt for a while after saving up all year for new Ironman suspension on the Prado. “I’ll be able to hit Little Red now” he said, mentioning the notorious track in the Glass House Mountains.

Ever since Tristan arrived back from the trip with his mates he’d been bragging about his “sick lines” with his Uni mates. “I could speed through a forest at this point, it’s so easy” he said, daydreaming of his Prado weaving in and out of the dense wood.

“He clearly hasn’t tried the GP library steps yet” pointed out Schoey, one of his mates, “That’s impossible.”

Schoey had attempted the library steps earlier this year and was fairly optimistic about getting through.

“I was able to reach level 3 in 20 seconds, I realised I must’ve broken a world record or something.”

His optimism was short-lived though, he managed to weave his way up to level 6, where he picked the wrong lines and rolled into a group of three students.

“I couldn’t even yell for help, I was on the silent study level.” Schoey was left perilously rolled on his side. “I thought about cutting my arm off to try and move, but it didn’t work.” said Schoey, lacking one limb.

Schoey was trodden over for 15 minutes before the GP security guards came to his assistance with some crutches and a double shot latte.

Ever since the incident, Schoey, like many others, has resorted to taking the lift.

“It’s pure hell. I tried to pick my lines, but people just kept coming and coming. It’s like being stoned.”

If you too have experienced trauma like this, The Stumpy Herald advises that you see a QUT Councillor immediately.


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