Griffith and USC Students Unite to Remind People They Exist

An unlikely partnership has been formed today when the University of Sunshine Coast and Griffith, combined forces with a simple goal.

“For too long, we have been ignored. On our own, we are not strong enough. But combined, we are strong”

Students from both Griffith and USC noted that despite knowing little of the universities, they assured reporters that they were enjoying their time.

“Sure, our technology is behind, we’re in the middle of nowhere, our degrees aren’t worth the paper it’s written on and we got really shit OP scores, we’ve really found our place” noted one student, denying any claims that her life was falling apart.

However, this announcement started on a sour note as the media that was invited never showed up. This was in parts due to not knowing where it actually was.

While USC has not reached meme status within the community, they consider themselves a meme. Essentially, think of every one degree you can, but make the degree really shit. Congratulations, you’ve summarised the University of Sunshine Coast. Ignoring the fact that their lecturers still think board shorts are a cool fashion item in 2018, it is the fact that they’re on the Sunshine Coast which makes them really stand out. We’ve tried to squeeze references in here, we really have, but we honestly don’t know anything about USC.

For Griffith, they were one of the very few people who actually cared about the Commonwealth Games coming to Brisbane. Known pretty much for only being both red and in the bush, Griffith has a strong medicine program. For some of you, this is the first time you’ve ever learnt about this. Propped into publicity for 2 months due to the Commonwealth Games, Griffith has since shrivelled back into the shadows, occasionally poking its head out in order to try and receive some recognition.

This movement was lead by Griffith student Wolf, a 30 year old surfer who lives on and off with his parents at their holiday home at Coolangatta. Currently, in his 5th year of a Social Science degree, Wolf is incredibly proud of the work that Griffith has done.

‘We’ve done some great things. We have those cool ads with music, we’re at the Gold Coast, and we hosted the Queens Baton relay”

However, organisers are concerned that the movement won’t pick up steam. Reports have indicated that UQ officials are already lurking in the shadows, ready to scoop up the strongest from Griffith. As for USC students, they will most likely end up working along the beach with their humanities course.

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