Students With No Economic Background Suddenly Become Experts After the Budget

Law student Joanna and architecture student Michael have become incredibly knowledgeable of the economy overnight.

Using the old buzzwords of “socially progressive, fiscally conservative”, Joanna and Michael have successfully navigated their way through the budget. Despite neither ever having taken a lesson in economics, the two proclaimed that “eh, economics is simple.”

The conversation started with disgust over university funding, claiming “how hard is it to pay unis. The government has enough money”. Joanna, whose parents are both successful businesspeople, claimed that “my parents don’t hide their taxes in off-shore accounts just so others pay for shotty university.”

Michael, however, came up with a breakthrough idea.

“The simple answer is to take money from stuff we don’t need and give it to stuff we do need”.┬áMichael also made the groundbreaking discovery that the budget would balance if the government made companies paid tax.

Reports have indicated that the government has considered that, but don’t want to disturb Tim Cook and Apple. The government is also concerned that without Apple, unemployment in China would rise.

Joanna and Michael both say that Apple makes so much money, that they would surely be happy to pay it. On a completely unrelated note, both students refuse to pay a cent more for an iPhone, regardless of the benefits.

Joanna responded by complaining about taxes. At the same time, she made it clear that public schools should be at the same level as her elite, private Brisbane Girls Grammar, through more government funding.

Reports are surfacing that Malcolm Turnbull and the Treasury are in the process of signing paperwork to offer both Joanna and Michael a job.

 

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