Victorian Student Unfased By Cold Snap, Apparently

While local students have this week woken up to colder temperatures that are unfamiliar, Victorian student Linda (19) is keen to remind students that this temperature isn’t even that bad.

“Honestly, why are you even complaining?” said the 19-year-old science student. “In Victoria, we’d be down at St. Kilda beach sunbathing”.

Many students were keen to remind her that while yes, in Victoria it is cold, they have grown up in Queensland where it is generally warm. Decked out in jumpers and thick socks, the Queensland students formed long ques across campus for coffee. Linda however, claimed they were all acting like children, even though she herself was shivering.

Linda, who was wearing shorts and a T-shirt, continued to overstate the freezing temperatures of Victoria. “Down there, people are dying of pneumonia, and sometimes, it even snows”. When asked if she was going through all the cold pain for pride sake, she denied these claims.

The irony was not lost on students however. Jacob, a friend of Linda and resident Queenslander, noted her attitude to Queensland’s 35+ temperature.

“She kept bitching and moaning about the heat in summer. Talked about how “she was going to become redder than an embarrassed tomato” or something”.

In addition to her constant references of the temperature, Linda has also made sure to comment on how much better AFL is than league, that Melbourne is more cultured, and that despite she wasn’t good enough to get into either Monash or University of Melbourne, that they’re better universities.

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