After viewing Donald Trump and Kim Hong-Un awkwardly shaking hands to an audience of tense on-lookers, students from both QUT and UQ have felt inspired. Rather than the continuing tensions over Great Court debates, who has the better Merlo baristas and whose ibises are prettier, discussions have begun over a joint respect of each other.
Representing QUT, Stalkerspace admin and local legend, Jack Chilton. After navigating through scandals such as “Rentgate” and “Yuhaogate”, it was believed that Mr. Chilton is the best man to be sent. Despite years of his peers outwardly dispelling any love towards the St. Lucia gang, Chilton’s fatherly love and acceptance of defecting UQ students has been surprising. His mission to “Make Stalkerspace Great Again” has been a success so far.
On the UQ end, Glorious Leader Henry Bretz. Bretz’s regime over UQ students has been widely noted, often finding himself using the propaganda new site The Obiter, to dismiss negative rumors about UQ. Last week, in response to the widespread controversy of “Librarygate”, Bretz and his colleagues worked overtime to dispell the fact that QUT, indeed, does have a law library. According to The Obiter itself, Bretz has never wrongly referenced a law document, and once mooted without once going “um…yeah”
Speaking with both Bretz and Chilton, the two leaders presented what they believe are the most important issues to discuss. Both have agreed to allow greater access to each others Stalkerspace, as long as all rent and floor shitting related posts be kept to the minimum. UQ has advised QUT that under the accord, named the What’s a TAFE Act, UQ students are given access to the Botanic Bar without getting lamented for “not being from here”.
QUT were very simple in their demands. After accusations of serious stockpiling of OP1 students, QUT has asked Bretz to cut back on the scholarship programs. Rather, QUT wishes to use the funds they’d otherwise spend on sandstone restoration and “a building per subject” ideology, and rather focus on giving the poor Gatton students a chance. (Yes, UQ Gatton exists).
No word yet on whether not both universities will agree to this. Reports state that if Mr. Bretz does not agree to the accords, QUT will be forced, along with QTAC, to place restrictions on UQ’s greatest trader: inner-city private school students.