QUT Unable to Complete Weapons Project After Blackboard Goes Down

The highly controversial contract for QUT to research and create autonomous weapons reached a bump in the road today when they discovered that Blackboard went down. Despite being a common occurrence, researchers were shocked and appalled by the sudden dysfunctional operating system that every student has experienced.

At approximately 12:07AM, QUT researchers pulled the plug on further development of autonomous weapons on campus. In the midst of creating a drone that blows up Creative Industries students, an “unexpected update” forced the research to be shut down, with no other alternative.

“It’s a real blow” said head researcher Dr. Pol Pot. “We had just finished a new gun that can be concealed in a torts textbook. Now, with so many interruptions, we thought it be better to shut the project down completely”.

This wasn’t the first mishap in the attempt to create a guerrilla war between UQ and QUT. Reports estimate that one researched failed to send his part of the atomic bomb. Messages obtained by the Stumpy Herald show that Craig was an “absolute freeloader” and was universally hated by the team.

“It really sucks that we couldn’t get it done,” said Dr. Pot “We have emailed the head of ISIS detailing that the zero-tolerance policy towards late shipment of weapons is a disadvantage to small universities like QUT”.

The project was set to make QUT truly a university for the real world. The plan was set to bring billions into the university, ultimately making it more free for future war generals, as well as finally having something large enough to threaten UQ out of making fun of QUT.

Disarm QUT is yet to be notified of this development, as they are currently into their 4th hour of arguing why the chancellor of QUT is “literally the devil” in a 3rd year engineering lecture.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.