United States to Invade QUT After Potential Guild Dictatorship Scare

Students have been warned that the United States may soon invade Gardens Point after calls that the QUT Guild had been undemocratically elected.

In the aftermath of such an election, many QUT students claimed that EPIC were “royally fucked” over by the sitting President. Taking to Stalkerspace, disgruntled students were quick to claim that the election was rigged from the beginning, drawing comparisons to the 2003 Australian Idol win of Guy Sebastian over Shannon Bill.

In response to the chaos, President Trump, in accordance with past United States foreign policy, has launched a full scale invasion of the small Queensland uni.

In order for this to happen, the US has announced they are transferring all funds from the planned Space Force.

QUT originally planned to defend themselves, but were instead advised by Disarm QUT to offer the invaders coffee and a Communist Manifesto.

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