EPIC Party, Who Couldn’t Locate Any Notice Boards, Suddenly Able to Find 400 Study Spaces

In the wake of the upcoming Guild election, incumbent party EPIC has released the first of their new election promises for 2019.

In a Facebook post today, the Guild noted that they would give students 400 new study spaces across campus,  allowing students even more opportunities to waste time watching the latest season of their favorite show on Netflix.

Many students were surprised at this announcement, mainly because of a lack of ability to find a space on campus boards left students assuming EPIC couldn’t find anything.

“Well after our mistake at the previous election, we took a good hard look at ourselves and thought ‘what’s the boldest promise we can make that will never happen'”. Reports state that after they decided to eliminate sleeping pods and buses up the KG hill, EPIC instead settled on the next most ludicrous statement they could.

“I mean surely people won’t actually buy this?” said one EPIC volunteer who, like the previous election, asked to go unannounced.

Students this week have been trying to avoid the front of GP, with both parties attempting to lure poor students into the midst of a conversation they will never escape. Local authorities are asked to tread lightly and to not mention the previous election, at risk of triggering both parties

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