NOT Pedophile Cardinal Pell Charged With Sexual Abuse

This week, Australian priest Cardinal…oh wait, gag order. Oh, that’s right. The Australian courts ordered that the media don’t release any information on a certain someone touching kids. That’s funny. Not discussing information about pedophiles when you know it’s happening. Who does that remind you of?

Well, this week NOT Cardinal Pell was charged with sexual assault of young children when he was a local priest in NOT Ballarat.

The former bestie with the Pope was this week dumped from the Vatican’s inner circle faster than Peter Dutton at a Liberal Party Meeting. After realizing that God was kind of a shitty lawyer, the Vatican had no other choice but to remove him from their inner circle. Instead, the Vatican plans to set up the pedophile in a nice cabin in the woods, outside the range of a school.

The medias orders to not release details about Cardinal Pell have been to protect the children. This argument is all-round a bit shit because the church also didn’t report sexual abuse, which is what got us into this fucking mess in the first place.

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