BREAKING: God Officially Apologises for Making the Ibis

In a shock press conference, God officially today apologized to the world for making the ibis. After multiple complaints against the Almighty Father, he came forward today and explained his reasoning. “Look, I was depressed and in a dark place when I made the Ibis,” said God. “But, after years of reflection and searching for myself, I realize now how badly I fucked up”. The ibis, best known for its diet of bin juice and dirty plastic bags, has long been considered a pest by the general population. After invading both QUT and UQ, the birds could only expand into more influential parts of the state.
 
However, despite their ugliness and general grossness, the ibis has gained somewhat of a cult following. Many students at UQ believe that the white bird was sent as a gift from God, to look over them in their time of need.
 
When asked whether the UQ students speculations were true, God had the following to say.
 
“What? No. Why would you think that? Did you not read the bible? The dove was what I sent as a promise of goodwill and luck. The ibis was something I made on the second day of a three-day bender with Buddha.”
When God was asked whether he’d apologize for anything else he created, he simply grunted and asked: “Can we just forget about the priests for like one century?”

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