“This Semester Is Going Fine,” says Student Despite Going Clubbing on a Wednesday Night

A local student has assured his friends and family that this semester is going to plans. This assurance has been made in spite of the fact that the business and IT student Michael, was seen at the RE on a Wednesday night.
After forgetting about the first 3 of his weekly quizzes, and already being two semesters behind in work, the student has maintained a brave face and is still pushing the narrative that he is indeed, “all over it”.

“Look it’s a bit stressful but I’ve got this covered” said Michael downing his 4th shot of tequila in the last hour.

When asked what inspired him to go out on a weeknight, Michael gave a very vague reason.

“Maybe it’s because I have a good time, maybe its because I have an assignment due tomorrow and it has sapped all remaining will to live from my body. Or maybe, its Maybelline”.

Trying to make conversation with other potential struggling students was met with little response. He cracked jokes about the assessment, but all his jokes and comments were met with silence.

A fellow club go-er noted “Mate, we’re all tradies. We’ve already bought a house. Good luck buddy but you’re fucked”. Reports have stated that this student was seen drinking at the Botanic Bar at 10AM, instead of attending his lecture.

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