In the wake of Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s even tighter restrictions, many are now suffering from the delayed reactions by a drowning man.

None have been more affected than bride-to-be, Allison. Refered to by her friends as a “Bridezilla”, the government’s new Covid-19 restrictions have forced the bride into a tricky situation.

In order to have her extended family and friends attend her wedding, Allison has announced that she will be teaching algebra in her vows. This decision will hopefully mean that the bride can jam multiple people into a small space despite clear evidence that it should not be allowed.

However, fiance Dylan has greater concerns for his upcoming marriage. Writing to the PM, Dylan wanted clarification on whether or not strip clubs were considered essential workers.