With Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk announcing the opening of the Queensland borders on July 10th, many conservative talking heads were relieved that the tourism industry could finally return to the Sunshine state.
However, reports state that political figures like Pauline Hanson are unaware that no-one in Australia has any interest in visiting Queensland. While once true, Queensland’s history of electing racist fuckheads like Katter, Hanson and Anning, combined with it’s brown river, has lead to hipsters in Sydney and Melbourne to refer to Queensland as “Australia’s Florida”.
When asked who were the main tourist coming to Queensland, Pauline Hanson was shocked to discover that it was mainly Asian families who didn’t speak enough English to read all the terrible reviews of the state.
One Victorian who had previously came to the state spoke to Stumpy, saying:
“What the fuck is an ‘Aussieworld’. And seriously, the best you could do is ‘the Big Pineapple’.
Another family reported that the decision to holiday in Brisbane lead to an ugly divorce and custody case.
“When he brought us here, I realised he didn’t love us. Who thinks a bike ride through the underwhelming botanical gardens is a family bonding exercise” said now divorced Linda.
Some reports suggest that the lack of COVID cases in Queensland is in part to the fact that even a pandemic doesn’t want to be in the state.